Day Three

Keeping it going!

Day 3, didn’t go horribly. Woke up (on time), worked out, took a quick shower then snuck in a nap before having to get my little off to school. I even had a good hair day – bonus there – especially because my leggings and sweatshirt surely weren’t a match for it.

Got in the grocery shopping and some office work before picking up the kids. I thought the day was going to take an ugly turn when my hubby told me this morning that his mom lost 14lbs (in 20 days) one of Dr. Oz’a diet.

Knee jerk reaction I was pissed. Obviously because I’ve been riding the struggle bus continuously over here. BUT … instead of letting it ruin my whole day and then eating like it’s my last meal – I shifted my mindset. While eating my breakfast I decided that I’ve got to stop comparing myself to what she’s done because I can’t restrict myself like the plan she did. I’d lose 14 and gain 25 when I fell off the wagon. Instead, I’m going to lose weight my way (yeah yeah – stop laughing one day I’ll figure it out) – without restricting my diet. I just need to master the self control part. So while secretly hating everyone that loses weight – I came up with my plan – for at least the next 30 days. Try and maintain some self control. One bagel instead of two – that kind of thing.

Disclaimer- I’m happy my MIL lost the weight – kudos to her and I hope she keeps it up. The weight is hell on her joints and her health so anything that helps her feel better is a-ok in my book. I’m just a closet hater because I don’t have diet discipline…yet.

I felt my mood take a turn for the better tonight and I’d love to wake up feeling the same. It felt nice not to be a straight up grouch.

Day 3 Gratitude: Good hair days that make you look like you have yourself together.

XOXO

Day Two

Day two didn’t start the way I thought it might. I considered getting up with the alarm. Then shut it off and crawled back under the covers. We stayed up fairly late watching a movie and it is a day off. So I got up around 9am and head on down for my workout. Then I decided to do my hair and get dressed like I had somewhere to be. I took care of throwing together my meal plan for the week along with the shopping list for tomorrow. Healthy foods and snacks are on my list to help me stay successful in my secondary challenge of eating better.

I straightened my bedroom and office – wanting to keep moving while I did all the laundry. I also tried not to eat my way through the day today which is a new challenge of its own. Usually on days the kids are home I’m eating all day because I’m bored. But I also hate leaving the house so…. getting out and doing something doesn’t always work for me either.

It’s really hard to muddle through the day when you’re not feeling your best. Staying on task is a challenge because you feel like you want to nap or just watch tv. I caught myself a couple of times.

The plan for tomorrow is groceries, laundry and office work. Thanks for letting me share this with you. I know it’s not exciting – but it makes me feel accountable at the end of the day.

Today’s Gratitude: Being able to talk to my dad every night even if it’s only about the weather. ❤️

XOXO

Can’t shake this funk…

It’s the worst. When you’re feeling like crud just shuffling through your day trying to fake it til you make it but the shift isn’t happening fast enough. I’m typing this as I cycle because that’s when I’m feeling inspired. Weirdo I know. So I’m about to be totally honest with where my heads at today. So forgive me for rambling.

That’s where I’m at lately. Or at least since the New Year hit. There wasn’t a new year new me thing going on because I’d already been doing the workout thing. So then what’s my deal right? I’m just feeling unmotivated to do much else. As much as I’d like to believe that I should love my body the way it is…I’m struggling. I want to love it. I want to appreciate it. Because it’s clearly being obstinate about changing.

Before all the people in the back go nuts…I know I don’t eat like I should. I know that. I don’t need anyone to tell me. I also need to drink water. I’m sure that’s why I feel like a zombie every day. I’ve run the gamut on programs from Weight Watchers to Fasting/Cleansing Programs to seeing a nutritionist. So my weight loss arsenal is loaded with information. I like sugar. I like sweets. I like all things classified in the junk food category. Sugar is my vice. I don’t drink at all but you bet your ass I’ll eat all the candy, cookies and treats if you offer them. I’m also a carb whore – but that shouldn’t be a surprise either.

So the big question is what am I going to do? That’s the question I’m asking myself and Google – no joke I Googled how to get unstuck. Here’s the thing depression and anxiety are a real thing and things I feel with. How I deal with them is one of the most common ways – eating. I also destroy my cuticles any chance I get – but that’s for the times I’m not stuffing my face. I carry a stress stone in the car and in my wallet to help with that. I also just bought myself a weighted blanket for bedtime. So far so good there. I’m falling asleep fast and love the pressure it adds.

One of the things I stumbled upon during my Google rabbit hole this morning is that when we feel stuck we often get wrapped up in figuring out why we feel stuck and how did it happen. Instead we should focus on small things that we can change to see if it makes a difference. Which I guess I started to do yesterday. I’ve been looking at my living spaces and they look like an overwhelmed person lives there. (She does BTW). So I used my day to work on that. I cleaned up the downstairs- reclaiming my spaces from the clutter. The clutter, that adds to my anxiety but I’m too depressed to do anything about. I forced myself to clean it all up. Vacuum it all and wash the floors. It was nice to see clear spaces.

However this morning when my 5am alarm went off I shut it off then crawled back in bed under that weighted blanket and stayed there until 9am. Skipping my workout and really wanting to get back into bed. I told myself that skipping the workout entirely today is not happening. So that’s why I’m doing it now.

So as I verbally vomited my blog post as I peddled through my secondary workout – I’ve decided to blog every night for the next thirty days. To see if making small manageable changes helps my garbage mindset. Can’t hurt right? I’ll start tonight with Day One – no waiting to start tomorrow. I’d love for you to follow along. Support is always welcome. Those that have been following me for a while know I haven’t tossed in the towel yet and I still don’t plan to.

Thanks for reading! Expect Day One tonight.

XOXO

Phase One of Jillian Michaels Body Shred

I figured I would try doing a midway post about my progress on the program this time around. Three months seemed like a long time to wait to make a post about a program. I used the ending pictures for my last program as the beginning photos and stats for this one.

I’d like to say I’ll do better with my food, but if I’m being honest tracking food just isn’t my jam. The last month of the Body Revolution program I just listened to my body and ate when I was hungry. I also switched things up by adding in my favorite protein coffee every morning once the school schedule began.

I’m not the type of person that can roll out of bed and eat breakfast. I also take thyroid medicine each morning for my Hashimoto’s and they recommend that you wait 30-60 minutes before eating anything.

Here’s what my weekday schedule looks like – 5:15a wake up, get the big kid ready and out the door. Then I take my thyroid medication around 6:30a and hit play on my workout. The workouts are usually around 35 minutes, then I start to wake up the little guy. Then it’s shower time, throw on some clothes and get the little guy out the door. I take a protein coffee (Click Brand – so good, I’m not sponsored, but sometimes think I should be the way I shout their praises) on the way to school. The protein coffee feeds my muscles after my workout and my caffeine requirement without making me feel sick like breakfast would. I usually run my errands after dropping James at school. I’m home between 10 & 11, having my breakfast then.

I’d like to get better at tracking what I actually eat, so I can get a real picture of what I’m actually consuming. I don’t want to do the tracking thing forever but maybe for a week or two. One of these days I’ll get it together and make that happen.

So the stomach bug I fought with a week or so ago helped with a little weight loss. I guess that’s the upside of a stomach bug right? My diet isn’t in check so I can’t expect miracles. However I don’t like to deprive myself of the foods I like. So moderation is what I’ll strive for in these last 3 weeks. I’ll commit to tracking beginning Monday to at least get an idea of how many calories I’m consuming.

Here goes nothing for the last 3 weeks and 3 days of the program!

xoxo

My Summer Workout

It’s been a good long while since I posted on my blog. I really want to post more, I just need to figure out what to post about. However I’ve been planning this post all summer! I committed to the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution Plan for the summer since I knew that the gym wasn’t in the cards for me. Work schedules are too crazy around here to make that work. So I began this rotation on Monday, June 17th and I actually remembered to take photos AND measurements!

I’ve written this blog post on different increments of my Body Revolution journey after taking photos for each stage.

Now, I wish I could say I changed my eating habits during the program. But so far I haven’t. I struggle with no actual schedule. So summer time is tough for me. When it comes to getting up in the morning, working out or even working on my office – I’ve really slacked off. However I have gotten in every single one of these workouts and haven’t missed any of them.

I also implemented double cardio days during this program. So on cardio days I do the Body Revolution Cardio and 30 minutes of cycling.

There’s been small changes in both weight and measurements. I’m sure they’d be a heck of a lot better if I could dial in my eating along with the program. I’m a stress eater, a bored eater and a grazer. So I guess working out has kept some of the weight at bay but I’d really like to trim down a bit so I feel more comfortable in my clothes. Jeans season is right around the corner and those are uncomfortable enough!

I’ve continued to stay true to my word when it comes to workouts and I’m sure anyone that follows me on Instagram is sick of my daily posts. It’s how I stay accountable to myself. So I apologize. However if you’re following me on Facebook at least you’re getting some humorous memes in between my daily workout posts.

After closing out on Phase Two and still not making much of a change, I do feel a little defeated. Don’t worry I’m not quitting. I actually want to try and throw my all into it for the last phase. I’ll get a “bonus” week to complete it as I’m taking a mini vacation during this phase and won’t be able to take my workout on the road as we’re camping in Maine. So instead I’ll take my sneakers and do a little running, swimming, paddle boarding, sailing and yoga.

I’m also hoping the fact that we have to plan a fairly strict menu for the trip that it will help with the grazing and crap eating. But I’ll know best when I come back.

During Phase Two I added in daily yoga. I felt like the cool down stretching wasn’t enough for me and my flexibility had become no existent. Daily yoga of 10-15 minutes daily has been helping my overall soreness as well as regaining some of my flexibility.

As I’m finishing up on Phase Three I realized a few things. The biggest is how real my body dysmorphia is. When I look at myself (no mirror, just using my eyes to observe myself), I see my muscles toning. My legs look good, my arms are shaping up and my abdomen feels flatter. My clothes are feeling different (in a good way). Overall I feel good about all the work I’ve put in. Then I look at myself in the mirror or in a picture. I chop that body into a million pieces. Contradicting everything I was just feeling good about. Which is a damn shame. I catch myself thinking “is this what other people see?” Which honestly I shouldn’t care, right? As long as I’m happy with myself.

I faced these realities during a pop up class I decided to take at a new gym (The Barre in Rocky Hill). Mirrors all over the place – for the obvious reason of checking your form. But I tried to position myself between the seam of the mirrors and did my very best to avoid my own eye contact. I also caught myself looking around the room and comparing myself to the other people. Deciding that once again I was the biggest person in the room. Totally missing the point that I killed the workout. Killed it. Having never taken the class before I kept up with all the regulars. It was a HIIT class with rotations between cardio and strength. I was able to do everything with little to no modifications. Cranking through pushups like a boss while the guy next to me was riding the struggle bus. Yet I circled back to how I looked in the mirror rather than how I felt.

Now that I’m finished with the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution and I’m on this new morning time schedule since the kids are back in school. (My oldest has to get up at 5:30-bus stop at 6:20 & my youngest gets up at 7:15 drop off at 8:40.) This gives me the time in between to workout uninterrupted before taking the little guy to school. I’m going to continue on with these home workouts rather than the gym since I proved to myself that I can complete the 90 days with little to no excuses.

My next workout program is going to be the follow up to this one. Jillian Michaels Body Shred. This program is 60 days and a little more intense (or so it says). I’ve done this program before too. I can’t remember if I’ve finished it.

Overall I’m not mad at my results from this program. I gave the workouts everything I had. The food. Not so much. They do say your body is made in the kitchen not in the gym right?

So I’ve got a good thing going with how far I’ve come with this program. I can only continue to improve if I don’t stop.

Something else to think about is that I did this without going to the gym. Committing to myself that I’ll workout every morning no matter what. I only had 2 days in a fitness class during these past 90 days. If you asked me at the middle of June when I began if I could do it without classes at the gym, I would have said no. I proved myself wrong.

I’d love to be able to go to the gym daily but honestly the classes I like just aren’t in the budget. You know how it goes. Boutique Fitness gets expensive.