Day Nineteen – Feeling Better

Day 19 I felt like I was back in the groove.

I had a dentist appointment scheduled for after school drop offs so I did wake up with an anxiety attack. I find a visit to the dentist stressful, I’m always worried that I have another cavity or tooth problem they’re going to find and that of course means big money flying out of my wallet. We don’t have dental insurance, so we pay out of pocket for everything each time we go. Not to mention who wants to have any kind of dental work! Fortunately I got the all clear, so that made me feel better.

After getting home from my appointment I threw on my workout gear and did Morning Meltdown cardio and then out to the garage I went to do tabata trampoline. I’m in the last 20 days of Morning Meltdown, I really like this program. The layout of having 10 different workouts that rotate and change keeps you from getting bored.

Doing a hardcore cardio session seems to help keep my overeating at bay too. I do need to find a balance of what keeps my body nourished after pushing my body like that. I’m determined to find something that works all the way around.

I have a light schedule for Friday so I’ll spend some time putting my office back together. I spilled a whole cup of coffee on my desk Wednesday- I cleaned up the coffee but haven’t had a chance to put everything back where it goes. Not to mention over the last week I dumped a bunch of stuff on my desk to “be put away”. I need the space clear to work on my Etsy stuff tomorrow.

Today’s gratitude-staying focused when I have back to back appointments and meetings.


Day Seventeen … getting tired of these yet?

Y’all tired of reading about my boring days yet? Well. Today’s post is about some of the usual and then some of the gym thoughts I have.

I started the day with getting both kiddos off to school then I head over to the gym to try out a new Barre class they’re offering. I liked it, it was definitely challenging. My friend Kristin came to try it out today too.

It was a good burn for all the balance, weights and core we did. No complaints there.

A slower pace gave me a chance to kinda observe the room and get all in my head. I’m about to be super honest and vulnerable here. I don’t usually have time for all that self observation and negative self talk with the other workouts. I always hide in the back and try to position myself where I can’t see myself in the mirror. I’ve talked about this before – how I look to myself when I look down vs what the mirror shows me are two entirely different things. I’m far more confident in myself without the reflection! Does anyone else feel this way when they’re at the gym? I get hyper critical of myself and start picking apart how different I am from everyone else. I know I shouldn’t. I try and remind myself that I’m just as worthy to be there and I hustle through the workouts just like anyone else. I have “big girl” complex though. Every time. I hate that about myself. This is where my headspace was at today.

This. This is everything.

I really just need to stay focused on what I’m doing in my lane and never mind what’s happening over there.

Thanks for reading my babble. It feels good to write it out. Put it out there so it’s not taking up mental space anymore.

Today’s gratitude – pushing through and doing things no matter how tired I think I am. I did all my commitments today.


Day Twelve

Day Twelve of writing and Day One of trying to get my shit together for the 484,728,272nd time.

I did the usual routine yesterday and forced myself to get up and work out even though I’m still not feeling 100%. I ran all my errands and finished up the school fundraiser.

I tracked all my food yesterday. Even the treats. I just can’t give up my candy.

I have to sit down and actually meal plan the rest of the meals in my day. Not just dinners. I have a spreadsheet that I was given when I saw a nutritionist a few years back that I really like that I can use to plan or I guess I could pre-track my day each morning to plan it all out too. We’ll have to see because sometimes I over plan and that just sets me up for failure because I overwhelm myself. I’m a weirdo I know.

Day Twelve Gratitude: I struggled with this one but I would have to say for today it’s the little moments in the car with the kids. Where they feel like sharing their day.


Day Eleven

Day eleven. Whoa.

Day eleven has me sick of my own shit. Yup. I said it. I’M SICK OF MY OWN SHIT. The overeating. The snacking. The muffin-top. The guilt. Then the stress eating from the guilt. All of it. I need to break the cycle. Because today while I did all of the above I felt myself slipping back into the sad bitch mode I was eleven days ago. Uh. No thanks. So where does that leave me? That leaves me needing to make a change. I need to do something different.

I wish I could do it as easy as I can say it. I have to take it one day at a time. Literally one day at a time. So. Here’s my plan for tomorrow. Get up – sniffles or not – and get my workout done before getting Nate up. Track everything I eat in MyFitnessPal. Drink all the water.

Somethings gotta give and eating all the food and killing myself in workouts isn’t changing anything. I’ve done the research and it’s not working. LOL.

Y’all. I’m so sick of myself today! I’m going to work to fix that tomorrow. Promise.

Here I go on my restart #63,627,263,739

Gratitude for day 11: The ability to be so mad at myself but love myself enough to make changes.


Day Nine

Day Nine was back to our morning routine. I got in my workout before getting Nate up and ready for his day. I dragged through my workout like I was half asleep. I’m fighting a bear of a cold. So these workouts seem twice as hard.

Monday’s are my grocery and planning day. So I quickly planned my menu for the week and made my list. If I don’t make a list when I go to the grocery, I end up leaving with a cart full of crap that I can’t make good dinners from. So my general rule is no list, no shopping.

I worked on my Etsy Shop and listed some new items before having to pick the kids up from school. Nate didn’t have clubs for some reason so it makes our Monday a little less stressful. Because James also has Cub Scouts on Monday nights.

I did stress bake some cookies this afternoon. Nate’s School and their communication stresses me out. We’re also working through some homework issues with him.

Not really exciting stuff happening here today. But I’m trying to stay consistent with writing. I was horrible with food today but decent with hydrating myself.

Day Njne Gratitude: having a flexible schedule that allows me to make last minute changes to fit the needs of my family.