I’m Still Here!

I know I haven’t been posting. I had a million and one excuses as to why I haven’t posted. But the real talk reason is I’ve been stuck in my head so much that I haven’t really wanted to post anything. But now…I need to rant. (Also, just to put it out there – I’m not looking for any “miracle diets”. I just want to complain. I know what I need to do. My mind and probably my thyroid have other plans,)

I’ve been doing the second round of Beachbody’s Liift4 and I’m definitely getting stronger. I actually just finished today! My results aren’t what I dreamed them to be. I, like everyone else, expect immediate results and expect them to be dramatic. Obviously neither of those things happened. This time around I did take a before and after picture. I also took measurements and kept track of my weights. The freaking measurements didn’t change! WTF

I’m annoyed. I know my food is less than on point. But I also know it hasn’t been horrible. I’ve never been successful at restricting my diet. But I have been choosing my calories more thoughtfully. I hoped that my exercise and better food choices would have made a difference. Agh!

So my next move? Learn to stop judging myself. Seriously. Because I’ve been hypercritical of myself. When I don’t look in the mirror I’m happy with what I see. Happy with what my minds wye pictures. But as soon as I catch my reflection I’m brought back to all the negativity. How do you change that? How do you look in the mirror and appreciate what you see? I hate having all these insecurities. I hide them as best as I can but the mean girl in my head is LOUD!

I wish I had the ability to have a trainer, to kick my ass and push the extra discipline I need. It’s just not in the cards for me right now. So I need to keep trying my best at home and with one class a week at the gym.

Here goes nothing. On to another program this week. I haven’t decided which one….. I need to do some quick research so I can start in the morning.

Here are my before and after photos before I go. I figure I took them, so I might as well share them.

Pray for a miracle this time around for your girl! Haha

Goodbye 2018…Hello 2019

As December came to a close I finished up my first round of Liift4 with my workout buddy Shannon. I never took before pictures but I did weigh and measure myself. However…I saw no difference or I should say no loss. I pretty much maintained my weight during the nine weeks (I know, it should be eight but we did week 5 twice). So I guess I should be happy with that considering the holidays. We finished the Friday before Christmas with the plan of starting Round 2 on Christmas Eve. I started the program as planned adding Jillian Michaels Killer Cardio on my Liift4 days. Turned out that my workout pal care down with something and I offered to do week one again so we could be in the same place in the program.

This time I took before pictures and measurements. Each Monday I will do the same. I also took some time to make my 2019 Goals rather than resolutions.

They seem simple enough but I struggle with 6/7. I’m not stuck on the number on the scale as I’m stuck on feeling comfortable in my body and my clothes. I’m heading into my 40th birthday and I already know I’m feeling better than I was at my 30th. But….I want to continue to feel better and look better because I’ve been carrying this weight around for too damn long!

I also committed to doing these sheets again to set shorter term goals for myself. These will help me stay accountable.

So this morning I’m kicking off another 8 weeks with Liift4 matched with cardio. I’m pumped and feeling hopeful that this time I’ll see results. Here’s the schedule I made for myself to bring me through this round.

Wishing everyone a very Happy 2019, May it be all you hope for!

XOXO

Friday Feels

e33d2616d398798174a5f98806eda7a9--hello-friday-art-quotesSo it’s Friday ya’ll and I’ve made a new promise to myself.  To write in my blog more often.  So to begin with I’m going to post Fridays and use it to ramble about what happened this week and what I’d like to see for next week.

Monday began #last90days challenge for me.  I set out with the best of intentions.  Exercise Monday, Wednesday and Friday by getting up an hour early, drinking 120oz of water a day and give up one food category I KNOW I shouldn’t have.  I did a speed read of the book “Girl Wash Your Face” in preparation for the challenge.  I’ve been listening to Rachel Hollis’s podcasts and I feel like I’m learning some things.  I appreciate her realness and honesty.  One of the take aways I have from this is that setting personal boundaries is a necessary.  Prioritizing myself is something that I never do.  I need to start doing that.  I think that this step has to happen before I am successful in any other area.

5tothriveSo in the spirit of honesty, I haven’t worked out this week, I did break that promise to myself.  I blamed it on taking care of things for my parents, doctors appointments that didn’t go exactly as I wanted them to, someone being home while I workout – you name it, I can make an excuse for it.  Truth of the matter is, I just didn’t “make” the time for it, because I didn’t want to.  Feeling bad about myself overshadowed the need to workout. Which paired with me staying in bed as long as possible – then running around like a jerk to get the kids out the door for school and eating ALL the foods in the category I should be giving up (candy).  I did however drink half my weight in water each day this week, bonus to that is all the extra steps I logged while I went to the bathroom a zillion times!  I have also been writing my ten things I’m grateful for each day.  Some days they come easy, some days I’m reaching for anything.

My goal for the next week is to keep doing what I’m doing successfully, then add in those other 3 items – which all go together for me.  Making the time and putting myself on the schedule is going to be a big hurdle for me to get past, but it’ll happen.  It has to happen for me to find the success I’m looking for.  I also need to develop my “WHY”, because without that why – none of this will stick.

So until next week…wish me luck!