I’m Still Here!

I know I haven’t been posting. I had a million and one excuses as to why I haven’t posted. But the real talk reason is I’ve been stuck in my head so much that I haven’t really wanted to post anything. But now…I need to rant. (Also, just to put it out there – I’m not looking for any “miracle diets”. I just want to complain. I know what I need to do. My mind and probably my thyroid have other plans,)

I’ve been doing the second round of Beachbody’s Liift4 and I’m definitely getting stronger. I actually just finished today! My results aren’t what I dreamed them to be. I, like everyone else, expect immediate results and expect them to be dramatic. Obviously neither of those things happened. This time around I did take a before and after picture. I also took measurements and kept track of my weights. The freaking measurements didn’t change! WTF

I’m annoyed. I know my food is less than on point. But I also know it hasn’t been horrible. I’ve never been successful at restricting my diet. But I have been choosing my calories more thoughtfully. I hoped that my exercise and better food choices would have made a difference. Agh!

So my next move? Learn to stop judging myself. Seriously. Because I’ve been hypercritical of myself. When I don’t look in the mirror I’m happy with what I see. Happy with what my minds wye pictures. But as soon as I catch my reflection I’m brought back to all the negativity. How do you change that? How do you look in the mirror and appreciate what you see? I hate having all these insecurities. I hide them as best as I can but the mean girl in my head is LOUD!

I wish I had the ability to have a trainer, to kick my ass and push the extra discipline I need. It’s just not in the cards for me right now. So I need to keep trying my best at home and with one class a week at the gym.

Here goes nothing. On to another program this week. I haven’t decided which one….. I need to do some quick research so I can start in the morning.

Here are my before and after photos before I go. I figure I took them, so I might as well share them.

Pray for a miracle this time around for your girl! Haha

Goodbye 2018…Hello 2019

As December came to a close I finished up my first round of Liift4 with my workout buddy Shannon. I never took before pictures but I did weigh and measure myself. However…I saw no difference or I should say no loss. I pretty much maintained my weight during the nine weeks (I know, it should be eight but we did week 5 twice). So I guess I should be happy with that considering the holidays. We finished the Friday before Christmas with the plan of starting Round 2 on Christmas Eve. I started the program as planned adding Jillian Michaels Killer Cardio on my Liift4 days. Turned out that my workout pal care down with something and I offered to do week one again so we could be in the same place in the program.

This time I took before pictures and measurements. Each Monday I will do the same. I also took some time to make my 2019 Goals rather than resolutions.

They seem simple enough but I struggle with 6/7. I’m not stuck on the number on the scale as I’m stuck on feeling comfortable in my body and my clothes. I’m heading into my 40th birthday and I already know I’m feeling better than I was at my 30th. But….I want to continue to feel better and look better because I’ve been carrying this weight around for too damn long!

I also committed to doing these sheets again to set shorter term goals for myself. These will help me stay accountable.

So this morning I’m kicking off another 8 weeks with Liift4 matched with cardio. I’m pumped and feeling hopeful that this time I’ll see results. Here’s the schedule I made for myself to bring me through this round.

Wishing everyone a very Happy 2019, May it be all you hope for!

XOXO

August Action Plan

That’s right…I’ve got an action plan! I have to keep trying until something sticks. Because I am sick and tired of feeling gross and being tired! I want to feel good and be active with my kids. They’re young and deserve an active mama. Because this girl has gotten LAZY this summer.

So I don’t know if this plan will be the one but I’m going to try it. The biggest change is me ditching the scale for the month. Im going to weigh & measure myself on August 1st, then put the scale away until September 1st. I’ve once again become dependent on that number on the scale. It then determines my attitude for the day. Which usually means my attitude will suck. (Insert eye roll here)

The rest is really just a recommitment to counting and burning calories and drinking water. I recalculated my BMR & AMR to help guide me on how much I should be eating and burning daily. Knowing I’d like to have a 1,000 calorie deficit daily to hopefully lose an average of 2lbs per week.

I’ve set up my journal for the month and I’m giving the goals a test run today.

Struggle Bus…

Yep. I’m riding that struggle bus to the bitter end. I’m at such a divide when it comes to this. On one hand I love ALL the food. All of it. But I’m not happy with how I look or feel. I’d love to find a good balance between these two worlds. But I haven’t found a way to do it. I eat really good but then I crave the junk. I can’t seem to wait it out or get past it.

I haven’t given up. But some days it feels that way. I want to eat healthier, feel better and look better. But I’m also not looking for an easy fix with a huge price tag on it. I’ve done that too and then boomeranged right back to where I am today.

I guess I just need to vent this all out and now I will reset and refresh again tomorrow morning. Beginning with a workout first thing in the morning. No more sleeping in this summer. That’s been part of my problem when it comes to how I’ve been feeling. Lazy start to the day, leads to bad food choices, no workouts and a depressed feeling throughout the day. Then it just repeats day after day. Nothing changes. That’s how it’s been for this last month since the kids got out of school.

As I’m sloooowly writing this post I’m prepping myself for the week. I setup my workout space again downstairs & committed to a contingent workout plan to bridge me to the next one I scheduled in my planner. I mapped out my week on paper for food/snacks. In 20 days I’m on vacation and I’d like to get back on track before that comes along.

I’ll check in each day after my workout for accountability and same for my food. Thanks for supporting me on my journey. I’ve got this because I have a plan!

Week Two… Seemed harder than week one!

I thought I was killing week two. I’m not kidding. I felt good. I felt full most days, like I wasn’t depriving myself. I felt empowered hitting my exercise goals daily.

That came crashing down this morning when I stepped on the scale. Now I know that isn’t a true picture of what’s going on. I’m going to try something a little different this week because maybe I’m not eating enough calories for how much I’m moving. This is a constant learning curve for me. I haven’t found the magic mix for me yet when it comes to how much I should eat matched with how much I work out.

My measurements changed which helps me feel a little better. I’m going to just keep pushing and forget what the scale says. Know it will either catch up or not matter because my clothes fit better.

Calories for week two

Food Snaps from the week.