Day Eighteen…I almost threw in the towel

Yep. Day 18 had me in sad bitch mode and wanting to quit it all.

I ate multiple bags of cookies while running my errands this morning – why? Who knows but there I was eating them like it was my job!

My schedule has been off this week so I’m of course blaming everything on that. This morning I didn’t get my workout in before the kids went to school because I had to get Nate to the bus stop this morning again because Al is still fighting off whatever bug he has. Then I came home and cleaned the kitchen because I left it in hot mess status at bedtime last night.

I just wasn’t feeling it today. Still feeling self conscious I guess. It was one of those days where one thing after another goes wrong. Nothing major. Just the type of shit that just screws up your day.

I’m heading off to bed with the mindset that tomorrow is going to be better. I’ll get back on track with everything and back on my “healthy me” path.

Gratitude today : recognizing sad bitch and setting a limit on it.

XOXO

Day Seventeen … getting tired of these yet?

Y’all tired of reading about my boring days yet? Well. Today’s post is about some of the usual and then some of the gym thoughts I have.

I started the day with getting both kiddos off to school then I head over to the gym to try out a new Barre class they’re offering. I liked it, it was definitely challenging. My friend Kristin came to try it out today too.

It was a good burn for all the balance, weights and core we did. No complaints there.

A slower pace gave me a chance to kinda observe the room and get all in my head. I’m about to be super honest and vulnerable here. I don’t usually have time for all that self observation and negative self talk with the other workouts. I always hide in the back and try to position myself where I can’t see myself in the mirror. I’ve talked about this before – how I look to myself when I look down vs what the mirror shows me are two entirely different things. I’m far more confident in myself without the reflection! Does anyone else feel this way when they’re at the gym? I get hyper critical of myself and start picking apart how different I am from everyone else. I know I shouldn’t. I try and remind myself that I’m just as worthy to be there and I hustle through the workouts just like anyone else. I have “big girl” complex though. Every time. I hate that about myself. This is where my headspace was at today.

This. This is everything.

I really just need to stay focused on what I’m doing in my lane and never mind what’s happening over there.

Thanks for reading my babble. It feels good to write it out. Put it out there so it’s not taking up mental space anymore.

Today’s gratitude – pushing through and doing things no matter how tired I think I am. I did all my commitments today.

XOXO

Day Sixteen

Day sixteen was a day off for the kiddos. So that meant sleeping in a little later and a more relaxed schedule. I got up and pulled a double workout. Something I’m going to try this week is getting in at least an hour of exercise a day. I found that on my gym days where I workout (until I feel like I may die with cardio) I’m less likely to over eat throughout the rest of the day. Weird since you’d assume the opposite. I did my usual Morning Meltdown-Fight Club (my least favorite) then went out to the garage to give my new trampoline a try! I found one similar to the ones from the gym for a 1/3 of the price – so I jumped on it. I threw together a 30 minute tabata workout on the fly.

MM100 – Fight Club
30 min Tabata Tramp

After my workouts I had some breakfast and put away the mounds of laundry sitting on my dining room table. I put it all there so I have no choice but to put it away. Otherwise I’ll live out of the laundry baskets sitting in my bedroom or hallway.

It looked to be a good weather day so my friend Kim said she was going to take the kids on a hike and asked us to join. Only James was interested – so we threw ourselves together and hit the road with a backpack lunch. Hiking with 5 kids is always an adventure. Lots of “don’t do this and stop that”. We made it to the summit and had our lunch before heading back down. It was a nice day out with our friends.

Case Mountain-Manchester, CT

Tomorrow I’m off to try Barre at the gym. My body is beat from today. Hopefully I’ll recuperate overnight.

I almost forgot! I tracked all my food!

I need more protein and less carbs in my life. 😬

Day 16 Gratitude: that I’m able to do the workouts and take the walks. Sometimes we take that for granted.

XOXO

Days Fourteen & Fifteen

Saturday & Sunday….

The weekends are busy here.  Saturday morning James had a hike with his Cub Scout Pack and Nate decided to stay home. So I stayed here and did all of our laundry, that I didn’t do last week so I had two weeks worth. Saturday night we had plans to celebrate my friends 40th birthday. It was a kid free night so the boys spent the night at my mother-in-law’s. She had her party at a laser tag place. Everyone had a great time.

I threw away my diet this weekend. I really need to start doing better tomorrow. I think part of it on Saturday was that my mother-in-law basically told me that I wasn’t even trying. But was sure to point out that my husband lost weight. Told me how much she lost. Then told me “we need to get you on board”. Awesome. So of course I showed her by eating two pieces of cake at the party. Then follow that up today by eating leftover cake and all of the queso during my home Super Bowl party. So needless to say I didn’t track anything for Saturday or Sunday in my fitness pal. Fresh start 73,738,372,837,262?

I think I’m really gonna try to give it a go this week and put in the whole week with trying to track everything and eat a little bit better. I really am sick of feeling like crap every day. Both mentally and physically. I’ve got to try to shut out all of the other aspects that caused me to stress eat or bored eat.

Days 14 and 15 gratitude: For having good friends that make me laugh and that I want to go out and spend time with. For never throwing in the towel no matter how hard I think it gets and how negative everyone around me is.

Here’s to a healthy week – let’s see if I can do it. Please help me stay accountable. Check in on me. I need it.

XOXO

Day Thirteen

Day thirteen and I’m still plugging along. Coughing up a storm but still going.

I slept in a little knowing I was heading to the gym after school drop off. I figured I could maybe sweat some of this cold? Whatever I have out during my weekly beat down at the gym. Fortunately I was too busy trying not to die during the 40 straight minutes of cardio with no warm up and a few tiny water breaks that I wasn’t coughing. Lol. I torch calories during these workouts at the gym. I only have a few visits left. Then I’ll have to figure out what comes next.

Energy Bounce Total Tone

I tracked all my food yesterday but did kind of go off the rails a little towards the end of the day. Once the kids are home and I have that “I don’t know what to do with myself vibe” – I tend to start seeking out food.

I just have to keep trying to do my best right?

Day 14 gratitude: That my oldest still seeks my opinion when he’s having a hard time. (Never easy for him so when he does it, it’s serious to him)

XOXO