Friday Feels

e33d2616d398798174a5f98806eda7a9--hello-friday-art-quotesWhat’s happening?  It’s Friday and I’m getting ready to roll into a weekend to myself!  Yup, that’s right….just me and the dog while the boys head up to New Hampshire with the Boy Scouts for the weekend.  At first I panicked when my hubby said he wanted to take my littlest on the trip.  I thought he was leaving him home with me this time.  I have a love/hate relationship with being home alone.  I am SO used to having these boys around, my house feels super empty when they aren’t here!  But I’ve set myself up for success this weekend – so I don’t focus on missing them.  Tonight I’m binge watching my shows on my actual TV.  Usually I lose my TV to the kids and watch all my shows on my iPad.  I also plan to order myself a pizza.  I don’t even care how many calories or carbs.  Tomorrow as long as the rain holds off there are a few outdoor activities I’d like to do and maybe I’ll work outside to enjoy the weather.  I’ve been neglecting my yard and gardens this year with all the home improvements we’ve been doing.  So that is a good time passer.

IMG_1930On Monday morning, I took note of my weight and measurements.  You know that whole getting ready – to get ready – to get ready –  to work out!  I figured I should record the information if I decided to get myself in gear and do something about how uncomfortable I’ve been feeling lately.  It seems like 220lbs is my “breaking point”, where I actually begin to feel uncomfortable on a daily basis.  That’s where I’m at right now.  I’m struggling to be comfy in my jeans, so I’m thankful for being able to wear yoga pants in my office!

IMG_1952I’ve been keeping up on my gratitude journal and watering myself appropriately.  On Thursday morning I finally got out of my own way and woke up early.  I did Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Beginner Shred.  I figured I should ease myself back into working out daily after beating the hell out of myself with the two fitness classes I took a few weeks ago!  I committed to myself that now that I have begun the morning workouts – I have to finish them for the next 90 days – as part of the challenge.  So I have scheduled 90 workouts for myself in my planner!  Yup…I one of those planner girls…with all the washi tape, stickers and colored pens.  It makes my feel like I have my shit together.  Most days I don’t but the planner makes me feel like I tried.

I’m still working on my “WHY”, I want to be sure it fits all the criteria to be an awesome WHY that will stay the duration of getting to my goal.  So this next week, that’s the assignment I’m giving myself.  Put together my WHY and publish it here next week!

Until next week….enjoy the weekend, enjoy your family, enjoy your friends.  Much Love!

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Friday Feels

e33d2616d398798174a5f98806eda7a9--hello-friday-art-quotesSo it’s Friday ya’ll and I’ve made a new promise to myself.  To write in my blog more often.  So to begin with I’m going to post Fridays and use it to ramble about what happened this week and what I’d like to see for next week.

Monday began #last90days challenge for me.  I set out with the best of intentions.  Exercise Monday, Wednesday and Friday by getting up an hour early, drinking 120oz of water a day and give up one food category I KNOW I shouldn’t have.  I did a speed read of the book “Girl Wash Your Face” in preparation for the challenge.  I’ve been listening to Rachel Hollis’s podcasts and I feel like I’m learning some things.  I appreciate her realness and honesty.  One of the take aways I have from this is that setting personal boundaries is a necessary.  Prioritizing myself is something that I never do.  I need to start doing that.  I think that this step has to happen before I am successful in any other area.

5tothriveSo in the spirit of honesty, I haven’t worked out this week, I did break that promise to myself.  I blamed it on taking care of things for my parents, doctors appointments that didn’t go exactly as I wanted them to, someone being home while I workout – you name it, I can make an excuse for it.  Truth of the matter is, I just didn’t “make” the time for it, because I didn’t want to.  Feeling bad about myself overshadowed the need to workout. Which paired with me staying in bed as long as possible – then running around like a jerk to get the kids out the door for school and eating ALL the foods in the category I should be giving up (candy).  I did however drink half my weight in water each day this week, bonus to that is all the extra steps I logged while I went to the bathroom a zillion times!  I have also been writing my ten things I’m grateful for each day.  Some days they come easy, some days I’m reaching for anything.

My goal for the next week is to keep doing what I’m doing successfully, then add in those other 3 items – which all go together for me.  Making the time and putting myself on the schedule is going to be a big hurdle for me to get past, but it’ll happen.  It has to happen for me to find the success I’m looking for.  I also need to develop my “WHY”, because without that why – none of this will stick.

So until next week…wish me luck!

August Action Plan

That’s right…I’ve got an action plan! I have to keep trying until something sticks. Because I am sick and tired of feeling gross and being tired! I want to feel good and be active with my kids. They’re young and deserve an active mama. Because this girl has gotten LAZY this summer.

So I don’t know if this plan will be the one but I’m going to try it. The biggest change is me ditching the scale for the month. Im going to weigh & measure myself on August 1st, then put the scale away until September 1st. I’ve once again become dependent on that number on the scale. It then determines my attitude for the day. Which usually means my attitude will suck. (Insert eye roll here)

The rest is really just a recommitment to counting and burning calories and drinking water. I recalculated my BMR & AMR to help guide me on how much I should be eating and burning daily. Knowing I’d like to have a 1,000 calorie deficit daily to hopefully lose an average of 2lbs per week.

I’ve set up my journal for the month and I’m giving the goals a test run today.

Struggle Bus…

Yep. I’m riding that struggle bus to the bitter end. I’m at such a divide when it comes to this. On one hand I love ALL the food. All of it. But I’m not happy with how I look or feel. I’d love to find a good balance between these two worlds. But I haven’t found a way to do it. I eat really good but then I crave the junk. I can’t seem to wait it out or get past it.

I haven’t given up. But some days it feels that way. I want to eat healthier, feel better and look better. But I’m also not looking for an easy fix with a huge price tag on it. I’ve done that too and then boomeranged right back to where I am today.

I guess I just need to vent this all out and now I will reset and refresh again tomorrow morning. Beginning with a workout first thing in the morning. No more sleeping in this summer. That’s been part of my problem when it comes to how I’ve been feeling. Lazy start to the day, leads to bad food choices, no workouts and a depressed feeling throughout the day. Then it just repeats day after day. Nothing changes. That’s how it’s been for this last month since the kids got out of school.

As I’m sloooowly writing this post I’m prepping myself for the week. I setup my workout space again downstairs & committed to a contingent workout plan to bridge me to the next one I scheduled in my planner. I mapped out my week on paper for food/snacks. In 20 days I’m on vacation and I’d like to get back on track before that comes along.

I’ll check in each day after my workout for accountability and same for my food. Thanks for supporting me on my journey. I’ve got this because I have a plan!

Week Two… Seemed harder than week one!

I thought I was killing week two. I’m not kidding. I felt good. I felt full most days, like I wasn’t depriving myself. I felt empowered hitting my exercise goals daily.

That came crashing down this morning when I stepped on the scale. Now I know that isn’t a true picture of what’s going on. I’m going to try something a little different this week because maybe I’m not eating enough calories for how much I’m moving. This is a constant learning curve for me. I haven’t found the magic mix for me yet when it comes to how much I should eat matched with how much I work out.

My measurements changed which helps me feel a little better. I’m going to just keep pushing and forget what the scale says. Know it will either catch up or not matter because my clothes fit better.

Calories for week two

Food Snaps from the week.