It’s been a minute!

I know, I know it’s been a while since I posted, but sometimes I just feel like I don’t have any interesting content to share. The last time I published a post I shared how frustrated I was with my results. At the beginning of March I decided to reboot myself once again. Planning for success and managing what I ate. Shortly after the flu hit our house and workouts came to a shrieking halt and fortunately feeling crappy helped me not gain any weight during that time. After we all felt better and I got back to my workouts I didn’t skip a beat. Then I received the extra push I needed….

I was attending a function for the Boy Scout Troop my husband is Scoutmaster for. I was feeling GOOD that night. I wore a dress and heels, did up my hair and put on makeup. I was in love with the way I looked that night. I shared my picture and received lots of love – which was fortunate because at the event someone asked me if I was pregnant. I. Was. Devastated. I mustered up a smile and made a joke about it and kindly said no. Inside I was crushed. I had been working so hard. How come no one was seeing it?

So on April 1st I began Transform 20, well a modified schedule of it. To allow for me to continue taking classes at the gym until the end of the school year. I weighed myself on day one, along with my fat and BMI, then that’s it. I’m not letting the scale define me and I’m doing to do these daily workouts for the next seven weeks – NO MATTER WHAT. There are no excuses that are larger than my goal of feeling good. I’m not stopping until I love the body I’m in. Some days I’m playing the fake it til you make it game. Summer is coming and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be miserable.

Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Below is my calendar for workouts, once the T20/Liift4 hybrid is released I’ll be adding that to roll me into June. I also hope to get back into posting more often because it feels good to share!

Value Yourself

No matter what the scale says!
Well then! What’s funny to me is the timing of this post.  This was the meeting room topic at Weight Watchers for May 28-June 3, HOWEVER, I need this today!  I am taking this mornings weigh in to heart and I’m taking it hard.  I know that if I go back and have a good look at what went down last week with food I would be able to recognize it right away.  I’ve been hiding under the belief that you can run from the scale (working out, then validating your food) and I also know deep down that you cant do that.
Last week I posted on my Facebook page a video of two friends reading their lists of horrible things they have said to themselves about their body and body image.  These friend then had to read each the lists out loud and direct them to each other.  It was hard to watch because I know how guilty I am of this.   We all know we are our own worst enemies when it comes to the way we perceive ourselves.  Some days are better than others when I’m trying to talk myself out of body shamming.  I try and hear the positive things that others have said to me or spin my thinking to a positive.  Such as when I was running last week and I ran by a crowd of people, the first thing that popped into my head was “man they must think I look ridiculous!”, but then I heard my WW leader, Donna, in my head when she spoke about when she say someone that was running in her neighborhood one day, someone that you may not call “fit”.  She said “I thought to myself wow, look at that person go, while I know I’m going home to sit on my couch!”.  I was able to switch my thoughts that morning to “hey I’m jogging and they’re just sitting there”.  I wish I could do this more often and I hope to as I get more practice at it.
The Weight Watchers Weekly on this subject discussed how you need to remember that the number on the scale doesn’t define you.  It’s just one of the many factors that describe you (like your eye or hair color).  Putting it simply, it means that your self worth shouldn’t be connected to how much you weigh.  There are so many reasons to value who you are.  How it helps is to recognize and appreciate yourself as a complex, interesting and loving person-rather than only as an “overweight” person.  This can have amazing physical and emotional payoffs.  People who have a healthy self esteem are more likely to take better care of their bodies, adopting healthy behaviors and engaging in less unhealthy behaviors, like overeating.  When your self esteem is high, you re also more likely to have a better body image – which in turn can boost your ability to lose weight.  Ultimately feeling good about yourself can make it easier for you to move forward.
An exercise they put in the WW Weekly was “what to do:see yourself through in loving eyes”.  You might think that criticizing yourself and being hard on yourself helps, but in turn it makes the journey harder because it hurts.  Seeing yourself the way a friend, relative or maybe even a stranger does, with love and appreciation rather than criticism and judgment.
THINK – about someone in your life who cares about you.
FOCUS – on that person for a minute and describe them in words and pictures.  What do they look like? Height? Eye color? Hair? Do they smile a lot? Do they have a soft or loud voice? Personality?
CONSIDER– what makes this person special to you.  Does thinking of this person make you happy?  Excited? Loving?  How do they make you feel?
IMAGINE –  that you are this person who loves you and start to see yourself through their eyes.  What do you like about this person you see?  Write down your thoughts, feeling s and behaviors you love about yourself.

COME BACK – to yourself and read what you wrote.  Notice the growing appreciation you feel fro yourself.

I really need to do this for myself.  Take some time to find the positives in my journey thus far.  I know there are more than I think.  I just need to stay positive and trust that eventually things will start moving in the right direction.  I just need to get the momentum going!