It’s been a minute!

I know, I know it’s been a while since I posted, but sometimes I just feel like I don’t have any interesting content to share. The last time I published a post I shared how frustrated I was with my results. At the beginning of March I decided to reboot myself once again. Planning for success and managing what I ate. Shortly after the flu hit our house and workouts came to a shrieking halt and fortunately feeling crappy helped me not gain any weight during that time. After we all felt better and I got back to my workouts I didn’t skip a beat. Then I received the extra push I needed….

I was attending a function for the Boy Scout Troop my husband is Scoutmaster for. I was feeling GOOD that night. I wore a dress and heels, did up my hair and put on makeup. I was in love with the way I looked that night. I shared my picture and received lots of love – which was fortunate because at the event someone asked me if I was pregnant. I. Was. Devastated. I mustered up a smile and made a joke about it and kindly said no. Inside I was crushed. I had been working so hard. How come no one was seeing it?

So on April 1st I began Transform 20, well a modified schedule of it. To allow for me to continue taking classes at the gym until the end of the school year. I weighed myself on day one, along with my fat and BMI, then that’s it. I’m not letting the scale define me and I’m doing to do these daily workouts for the next seven weeks – NO MATTER WHAT. There are no excuses that are larger than my goal of feeling good. I’m not stopping until I love the body I’m in. Some days I’m playing the fake it til you make it game. Summer is coming and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be miserable.

Photo by Designecologist on

Below is my calendar for workouts, once the T20/Liift4 hybrid is released I’ll be adding that to roll me into June. I also hope to get back into posting more often because it feels good to share!

Value Yourself

No matter what the scale says!
Well then! What’s funny to me is the timing of this post.  This was the meeting room topic at Weight Watchers for May 28-June 3, HOWEVER, I need this today!  I am taking this mornings weigh in to heart and I’m taking it hard.  I know that if I go back and have a good look at what went down last week with food I would be able to recognize it right away.  I’ve been hiding under the belief that you can run from the scale (working out, then validating your food) and I also know deep down that you cant do that.
Last week I posted on my Facebook page a video of two friends reading their lists of horrible things they have said to themselves about their body and body image.  These friend then had to read each the lists out loud and direct them to each other.  It was hard to watch because I know how guilty I am of this.   We all know we are our own worst enemies when it comes to the way we perceive ourselves.  Some days are better than others when I’m trying to talk myself out of body shamming.  I try and hear the positive things that others have said to me or spin my thinking to a positive.  Such as when I was running last week and I ran by a crowd of people, the first thing that popped into my head was “man they must think I look ridiculous!”, but then I heard my WW leader, Donna, in my head when she spoke about when she say someone that was running in her neighborhood one day, someone that you may not call “fit”.  She said “I thought to myself wow, look at that person go, while I know I’m going home to sit on my couch!”.  I was able to switch my thoughts that morning to “hey I’m jogging and they’re just sitting there”.  I wish I could do this more often and I hope to as I get more practice at it.
The Weight Watchers Weekly on this subject discussed how you need to remember that the number on the scale doesn’t define you.  It’s just one of the many factors that describe you (like your eye or hair color).  Putting it simply, it means that your self worth shouldn’t be connected to how much you weigh.  There are so many reasons to value who you are.  How it helps is to recognize and appreciate yourself as a complex, interesting and loving person-rather than only as an “overweight” person.  This can have amazing physical and emotional payoffs.  People who have a healthy self esteem are more likely to take better care of their bodies, adopting healthy behaviors and engaging in less unhealthy behaviors, like overeating.  When your self esteem is high, you re also more likely to have a better body image – which in turn can boost your ability to lose weight.  Ultimately feeling good about yourself can make it easier for you to move forward.
An exercise they put in the WW Weekly was “what to do:see yourself through in loving eyes”.  You might think that criticizing yourself and being hard on yourself helps, but in turn it makes the journey harder because it hurts.  Seeing yourself the way a friend, relative or maybe even a stranger does, with love and appreciation rather than criticism and judgment.
THINK – about someone in your life who cares about you.
FOCUS – on that person for a minute and describe them in words and pictures.  What do they look like? Height? Eye color? Hair? Do they smile a lot? Do they have a soft or loud voice? Personality?
CONSIDER– what makes this person special to you.  Does thinking of this person make you happy?  Excited? Loving?  How do they make you feel?
IMAGINE –  that you are this person who loves you and start to see yourself through their eyes.  What do you like about this person you see?  Write down your thoughts, feeling s and behaviors you love about yourself.

COME BACK – to yourself and read what you wrote.  Notice the growing appreciation you feel fro yourself.

I really need to do this for myself.  Take some time to find the positives in my journey thus far.  I know there are more than I think.  I just need to stay positive and trust that eventually things will start moving in the right direction.  I just need to get the momentum going!


Take good care of yourself.

Self-compassion can help you succeed at weight loss!

This weeks topic in the meeting room was about taking care of yourself.  Reminding you to take good care of yourself.  There is a saying that if you can’t pour from an empty cup.  It applies to self care.  We’ve discussed this many times and as humans we tend to take care of everyone else’s needs before our own.  Which can end up burning us out and hurting us emotionally and physically in the long run.    By the time we reach the end of our rope we start lashing out at ourselves and sometimes our loved ones.  If we had just “poured from the cup” providing to ourselves first, we would have plenty to give to others.

The Weight Watchers Weekly reminds us that it is all about compassion.  Being kind, understanding and supportive of yourself no matter the situation – just as you would a friend.  It’s giving yourself pep talks rather than put downs; taking care of your physical and emotional needs and giving yourself credit for all the amazing things you do and say every day.  When you treat yourself with kindness, you’re more likely to take care of your health even when you are ill or stresses and better able to stick with your weight loss.  What happens next is the best part!  As your sense of self worth increases, your relationships with others improve.  There are studies that show that people who can look at their successes and failures alike with a caring, non-judgmental lens are less afraid of failure and have a more positive outlook and a better sense of well being.

The WW Weekly also gives a quick sheet on “What to do: Show yourself some love”, so I’ll also share that here so you can write it out and keep it where you can find it, so when you’re feeling low you have a “cheat sheet”.

PHYSICAL: What helps you relieve tension and stress? (Examples: massaged exercise, a warm bath, knitting)

MENTAL:  How do you relax your mind? (Examples:  read a good book, do a crossword puzzle, sing)

EMOTIONAL:  What soothes you?  (Examples: brushing the cat, cooking, gardening, listening to music)

RELATIONAL:  How do you connect with others in a way that makes you happiest? (Examples: writing a letter, taking a walk together, hosting a game night)

SPIRITUAL:  How do you commit to your values? (Examples: pray, volunteer your time, spend time in nature)

Just so you have an idea of where my mind is at, here are the answers to those prompts for me:

Physical – exercise, sometimes thats the only way I know how to clear my mind – walk it off

Mental – Reading a book or taking a drive blasting the music singing just as loud!

Emotional – Gardening, if the season calls for it.  My yard is my favorite place to be.  Cleaning and organizing fills the gap when I can’t garden.

Relational – Spending time with my husband and sons is where I’m the happiest.  Sometimes its staying home and hanging in the yard or going to a state park or taking a day trip.

Spiritual – Spending time in nature is the biggest way, along with my spiritual practice which I try to incorporate daily.

Boost Your Body Confidence

“You can do amazing things-
Here’s how to feel great about yourself, every step of your journey”
During today’s meeting we discussed how negative body talk gets in your way of your weight loss journey.  It crushes your confidence and sabotages you before you even begin!  Some of the key points mentioned in this weeks’ handout are:
Breakout that full length mirror and grab a pen and paper!
1.  List what you love!  Close those eyes and think about the features you do love about yourself.  Everyone has at least one thing they love about themselves  But try to find at least two.  Write them down!
2.  List what you don’t.  Sounds counter productive, I know.  But close those eyes again and think of 4 to 5 areas you are least satisfied with.  Write them down!
3.  Rank Them!  I can hear you now “this is getting worse!”. Trust the process.  I’ll post my list below.  Promise.  Assign a number from 0 – 10 for each feature you listed.  Zero meaning “most content” and 10 “least content”
4.  Examine your body.  Stand in front of that mirror.  It’s time to re-frame your thinking. Close your eyes and take some deep breaths.  Visualize the body part you are most satisfied with for about 15 seconds, then re-focus your breath.  Open those eyes and look at that part for 15 seconds.  Resume your relaxed breathing.
5.  Think about it!  Open your eyes.  Look at that body part again, consider what it does for you.  Take a moment to appreciate what it does for you. 
6.  Neutralize Negative Thoughts!!  If it’s hard to feel thankful for an area as you make your way through your list, shift your reaction.  So instead of saying my stomach is disgusting, turn it neutral, focus on the shape, my stomach is round.  Then close your eyes and focus again on your breathing.
7.  Go down your list.  Repeat steps 4-6 for each body area.  Treating each area with care and respect.  Its ok to spread this activity out over a few days if its just too much for one day.  Take time to give your body the positive attention it deserves.. 
 (Taken from Weight Watchers Weeky February 26-March 4, 2017) 
So…my list.  Here it goes.   
0. Lips
1. Eyes
2. Hair
3. Chin
4. Hands
5. Stomach
6. Butt
7. Legs (in general)
8. Thighs
9. Calves
10. Arms
It’s hard.  It’s hard to appreciate your body, especially when you’re feeling awful about yourself.  But making a list like this allows you to focus on what you feel to be “good” qualities.  Many times one of the things you hate the most about yourself is what someone wishes they had.

I read a story on Facebook on a page that I follow about two women attending a yoga class.  Each with very different body types.  The teller of the story says to the other woman how envious she was of her strong legs.  After the class the other woman came up to the storys author and said ” I’ve always hated my legs, I’ve never received any positive feedback about them in my life.  I’ve always wanted legs like yours”.  The author replies “You mean this chicken scrawny legs?  Like two sticks walking?  I’d give anything for a full booty and legs like you have”.  They both laughed, hugged and left the conversation feeling newly empowered about a body part they both hated about themselves.This is a great example of how the very thing you wish you have, someone else is wishing it away.


Self Care, Putting yourself first….

The struggle for me is real on this one.  It feels like there’s never enough time for the things I want to do.  Now before I continue, let me just say that I know that being a mom is a full time, all the time job.  My family means the world to me.  BUT sometimes this mom and wife needs a break.  I have been a stay at home mom now for two years and I’ve spent most of these two years trying to figure out “what am I going to do?”  I’ve realized that what I need to do is find something for me!  I had been taking metaphysical classes (that’s what we’ll call them…) from October 2014 thru June 2016, these were weekly classes and they were something very special to me.  I created great connections with these people and they continue today.  However now these classes have gone to a once a month meeting, which just isn’t the same.  I need to find something to replace this.  Maybe it’s teaching the classes myself, maybe it’s honing some of the skills I’ve learned over the past two years, maybe it’s something all new or it’s a little bit of all of that!
I’ve also put my health on the back burner again.  I was working so hard on implementing a workout regime and eating healthier.  It was too much all at once.  I set myself up to fail and fail I did.  As I wrote in my last blog post, the kids are at school and I essentially have Monday thru Friday from 10-2 to do things-whether it’s office work for my husbands business or house management or just me time.  I’m a schedule maker, a list maker – it’s how I thrive.  So I’m working on finding a balance with all of these things instead of trying to do things at once.  I have been meal planning and doing my grocery shopping for just what’s on the meal plan (every Monday!).  I need to refine my shopping skills (no junk!) and really need to add back in some exercise.  Baby steps…it’ll happen.
So as one of the first things I’ve decided to do for myself in the “New Year” that began on Tuesday, is posting every Friday on my blog.  Honestly you can probably expect most posts to be just like this one.  A rambling mess of what’s happening right now in my crowded head.  If that’s good with you then I look forward to seeing you next week!
Until next Friday….remember…