My Summer Workout

It’s been a good long while since I posted on my blog. I really want to post more, I just need to figure out what to post about. However I’ve been planning this post all summer! I committed to the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution Plan for the summer since I knew that the gym wasn’t in the cards for me. Work schedules are too crazy around here to make that work. So I began this rotation on Monday, June 17th and I actually remembered to take photos AND measurements!

I’ve written this blog post on different increments of my Body Revolution journey after taking photos for each stage.

Now, I wish I could say I changed my eating habits during the program. But so far I haven’t. I struggle with no actual schedule. So summer time is tough for me. When it comes to getting up in the morning, working out or even working on my office – I’ve really slacked off. However I have gotten in every single one of these workouts and haven’t missed any of them.

I also implemented double cardio days during this program. So on cardio days I do the Body Revolution Cardio and 30 minutes of cycling.

There’s been small changes in both weight and measurements. I’m sure they’d be a heck of a lot better if I could dial in my eating along with the program. I’m a stress eater, a bored eater and a grazer. So I guess working out has kept some of the weight at bay but I’d really like to trim down a bit so I feel more comfortable in my clothes. Jeans season is right around the corner and those are uncomfortable enough!

I’ve continued to stay true to my word when it comes to workouts and I’m sure anyone that follows me on Instagram is sick of my daily posts. It’s how I stay accountable to myself. So I apologize. However if you’re following me on Facebook at least you’re getting some humorous memes in between my daily workout posts.

After closing out on Phase Two and still not making much of a change, I do feel a little defeated. Don’t worry I’m not quitting. I actually want to try and throw my all into it for the last phase. I’ll get a “bonus” week to complete it as I’m taking a mini vacation during this phase and won’t be able to take my workout on the road as we’re camping in Maine. So instead I’ll take my sneakers and do a little running, swimming, paddle boarding, sailing and yoga.

I’m also hoping the fact that we have to plan a fairly strict menu for the trip that it will help with the grazing and crap eating. But I’ll know best when I come back.

During Phase Two I added in daily yoga. I felt like the cool down stretching wasn’t enough for me and my flexibility had become no existent. Daily yoga of 10-15 minutes daily has been helping my overall soreness as well as regaining some of my flexibility.

As I’m finishing up on Phase Three I realized a few things. The biggest is how real my body dysmorphia is. When I look at myself (no mirror, just using my eyes to observe myself), I see my muscles toning. My legs look good, my arms are shaping up and my abdomen feels flatter. My clothes are feeling different (in a good way). Overall I feel good about all the work I’ve put in. Then I look at myself in the mirror or in a picture. I chop that body into a million pieces. Contradicting everything I was just feeling good about. Which is a damn shame. I catch myself thinking “is this what other people see?” Which honestly I shouldn’t care, right? As long as I’m happy with myself.

I faced these realities during a pop up class I decided to take at a new gym (The Barre in Rocky Hill). Mirrors all over the place – for the obvious reason of checking your form. But I tried to position myself between the seam of the mirrors and did my very best to avoid my own eye contact. I also caught myself looking around the room and comparing myself to the other people. Deciding that once again I was the biggest person in the room. Totally missing the point that I killed the workout. Killed it. Having never taken the class before I kept up with all the regulars. It was a HIIT class with rotations between cardio and strength. I was able to do everything with little to no modifications. Cranking through pushups like a boss while the guy next to me was riding the struggle bus. Yet I circled back to how I looked in the mirror rather than how I felt.

Now that I’m finished with the Jillian Michaels Body Revolution and I’m on this new morning time schedule since the kids are back in school. (My oldest has to get up at 5:30-bus stop at 6:20 & my youngest gets up at 7:15 drop off at 8:40.) This gives me the time in between to workout uninterrupted before taking the little guy to school. I’m going to continue on with these home workouts rather than the gym since I proved to myself that I can complete the 90 days with little to no excuses.

My next workout program is going to be the follow up to this one. Jillian Michaels Body Shred. This program is 60 days and a little more intense (or so it says). I’ve done this program before too. I can’t remember if I’ve finished it.

Overall I’m not mad at my results from this program. I gave the workouts everything I had. The food. Not so much. They do say your body is made in the kitchen not in the gym right?

So I’ve got a good thing going with how far I’ve come with this program. I can only continue to improve if I don’t stop.

Something else to think about is that I did this without going to the gym. Committing to myself that I’ll workout every morning no matter what. I only had 2 days in a fitness class during these past 90 days. If you asked me at the middle of June when I began if I could do it without classes at the gym, I would have said no. I proved myself wrong.

I’d love to be able to go to the gym daily but honestly the classes I like just aren’t in the budget. You know how it goes. Boutique Fitness gets expensive.

It’s been a minute!

I know, I know it’s been a while since I posted, but sometimes I just feel like I don’t have any interesting content to share. The last time I published a post I shared how frustrated I was with my results. At the beginning of March I decided to reboot myself once again. Planning for success and managing what I ate. Shortly after the flu hit our house and workouts came to a shrieking halt and fortunately feeling crappy helped me not gain any weight during that time. After we all felt better and I got back to my workouts I didn’t skip a beat. Then I received the extra push I needed….

I was attending a function for the Boy Scout Troop my husband is Scoutmaster for. I was feeling GOOD that night. I wore a dress and heels, did up my hair and put on makeup. I was in love with the way I looked that night. I shared my picture and received lots of love – which was fortunate because at the event someone asked me if I was pregnant. I. Was. Devastated. I mustered up a smile and made a joke about it and kindly said no. Inside I was crushed. I had been working so hard. How come no one was seeing it?

So on April 1st I began Transform 20, well a modified schedule of it. To allow for me to continue taking classes at the gym until the end of the school year. I weighed myself on day one, along with my fat and BMI, then that’s it. I’m not letting the scale define me and I’m doing to do these daily workouts for the next seven weeks – NO MATTER WHAT. There are no excuses that are larger than my goal of feeling good. I’m not stopping until I love the body I’m in. Some days I’m playing the fake it til you make it game. Summer is coming and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be miserable.

Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Below is my calendar for workouts, once the T20/Liift4 hybrid is released I’ll be adding that to roll me into June. I also hope to get back into posting more often because it feels good to share!

I’m Still Here!

I know I haven’t been posting. I had a million and one excuses as to why I haven’t posted. But the real talk reason is I’ve been stuck in my head so much that I haven’t really wanted to post anything. But now…I need to rant. (Also, just to put it out there – I’m not looking for any “miracle diets”. I just want to complain. I know what I need to do. My mind and probably my thyroid have other plans,)

I’ve been doing the second round of Beachbody’s Liift4 and I’m definitely getting stronger. I actually just finished today! My results aren’t what I dreamed them to be. I, like everyone else, expect immediate results and expect them to be dramatic. Obviously neither of those things happened. This time around I did take a before and after picture. I also took measurements and kept track of my weights. The freaking measurements didn’t change! WTF

I’m annoyed. I know my food is less than on point. But I also know it hasn’t been horrible. I’ve never been successful at restricting my diet. But I have been choosing my calories more thoughtfully. I hoped that my exercise and better food choices would have made a difference. Agh!

So my next move? Learn to stop judging myself. Seriously. Because I’ve been hypercritical of myself. When I don’t look in the mirror I’m happy with what I see. Happy with what my minds wye pictures. But as soon as I catch my reflection I’m brought back to all the negativity. How do you change that? How do you look in the mirror and appreciate what you see? I hate having all these insecurities. I hide them as best as I can but the mean girl in my head is LOUD!

I wish I had the ability to have a trainer, to kick my ass and push the extra discipline I need. It’s just not in the cards for me right now. So I need to keep trying my best at home and with one class a week at the gym.

Here goes nothing. On to another program this week. I haven’t decided which one….. I need to do some quick research so I can start in the morning.

Here are my before and after photos before I go. I figure I took them, so I might as well share them.

Pray for a miracle this time around for your girl! Haha

Goodbye 2018…Hello 2019

As December came to a close I finished up my first round of Liift4 with my workout buddy Shannon. I never took before pictures but I did weigh and measure myself. However…I saw no difference or I should say no loss. I pretty much maintained my weight during the nine weeks (I know, it should be eight but we did week 5 twice). So I guess I should be happy with that considering the holidays. We finished the Friday before Christmas with the plan of starting Round 2 on Christmas Eve. I started the program as planned adding Jillian Michaels Killer Cardio on my Liift4 days. Turned out that my workout pal care down with something and I offered to do week one again so we could be in the same place in the program.

This time I took before pictures and measurements. Each Monday I will do the same. I also took some time to make my 2019 Goals rather than resolutions.

They seem simple enough but I struggle with 6/7. I’m not stuck on the number on the scale as I’m stuck on feeling comfortable in my body and my clothes. I’m heading into my 40th birthday and I already know I’m feeling better than I was at my 30th. But….I want to continue to feel better and look better because I’ve been carrying this weight around for too damn long!

I also committed to doing these sheets again to set shorter term goals for myself. These will help me stay accountable.

So this morning I’m kicking off another 8 weeks with Liift4 matched with cardio. I’m pumped and feeling hopeful that this time I’ll see results. Here’s the schedule I made for myself to bring me through this round.

Wishing everyone a very Happy 2019, May it be all you hope for!

XOXO

I’m still struggling!

Yup!  I sure am.  Yesterday I received a call for the life insurance that my husband and I applied for.  I was told that I received a sub-standard rating due to my “build”.  It was a tough blow.  Just hearing that was the reason, I wanted to cry.  Fortunately I had a friend there to listen to me and understand how I felt.  Because I didn’t get the same support at home from my husband.  Using “build” for determination on services feels so discriminatory.  How to you base a decision on weight/height ratios.  When all of the blood work you made me do shows how healthy I am when it comes to all of the other important things such as cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. Also, I’m lying…I did cry.  I cried a lot over this information.  Then reading it in black and white that because I am 5’7″ and on that day weighed 222 (fully dressed), I am deemed below standard.  It hurts, it burns, it really sucks.

This.  This is the kind of thing that makes things even worse for people like myself.  People that struggle with their confidence and fight body issues.  The body issues that cause you to want to eat to shove the feelings back down, then when your done you feel even worse.  I am lucky to have supportive friends, mother and solid promise to myself.  The promise that no matter what I don’t quit working out.  No matter how down I am.  No matter how much I hate myself that morning.  I get up, I move for at least 30 minutes and I put my everything into that workout.  I know this all seems harsh, but in all honestly that is how it is for me sometimes and I fight those demons daily.  Trying to focus on how strong I feel and how my clothes feel rather than the number on the scale.  

This all comes on the heels  of me trying to make better choices with the quality and quantity of food I consume.  I’ve also rolled back how much exercise I do daily.  I felt like I was over taxing my body.  I also came to grips with the fact that I am basically a toddler when it comes to food.  I love to graze all day rather than sit down and eat a meal.  So this week I tried something a little different and ate a regular lunch each day.  It’s made a difference in my snacking and in my weight.  

Thanks for letting me rant and get this off my chest.  Now I just need to move forward and continue to focus on bettering myself. XOXO